Discovering Right Relationship Between Control & Creativity
Can creativity inhibit creativity? No. Creativity begets creativity, but control is the great inhibitor.
As a highly creative person myself, I sometimes fall through the slats of the bridge connecting creativity and control, because the strange truth is that a little bit of control is absolutely required for creativity. Think of the duality, the polarity, the dance of balance I refer to again and again: we need opposing aspects present in order to explore the sacred middle ground between them, which means that in order to experience creativity, we need some control.
We need enough control over ourselves that the mind does not wander away every five minutes, enough discipline to stay with the practice, and enough structure around the materials we are using that the creative force actually has something to move through. It is much easier to paint with a beautifully organized palette, a sturdy easel, and a gorgeous canvas than it is to interrupt the process every few minutes because you cannot find the blue paint, unless, of course, scavenging for the blue paint is the creative process itself.
In that way, control and creativity are beautiful bed buddies. The whole thing falls apart when, consciously or subconsciously, we decide that control is the superior end and creativity is simply the means by which we intend to achieve it.
When Creativity Becomes an Agenda
One of the clearest places this happens is when we try to create ourselves. There is nothing inherently wrong with this; in fact, I believe it is one of the great purposes of being alive. At this juncture in time and space, many of us have extraordinary freedom to choose how we dress, where we travel, how we speak, what we make, what we believe, and what kind of person we become. We are active participants in the creation of ourselves.
Control slips into the process when we begin creating with an agenda. If we are trying to make ourselves more lovable, more palatable, easier to understand, easier to accept or adore, or conversely, more edgy, unusual, alienated, mysterious, spiritual, impressive, or powerful, then we are no longer simply creating. We are using creativity to control an outcome.
Creativity refuses to be constrained by your rules.
Creativity is a spiritual process, and it cannot be commandeered by the mind. The moment the mind completely takes over, what remains may still be beautiful, skillful, useful, or technically impressive, but it has become construction and assembly. Creativity is the fusing of elements together until they become something greater than their individual parts, something genuinely new, and if you decide exactly what that new thing must become before it has even had the chance to reveal itself, both creativity and control will eventually fail you.
The same thing happens when we curate an image, a lifestyle, a body, a career, or an identity according to what we have already decided it must communicate. There is a fine line between enjoying the creative process and allowing it to transform you, versus simply moving objects, colors, behaviors, aesthetics, and circumstances through time and space until they reproduce an image that was already inside your mind.
There is nothing wrong with reproduction, construction, or craftsmanship, but the creative process changes you with it.
You may begin writing a book and discover that what wanted to emerge was a pamphlet of poetry, and now you are a poet. You may begin changing your wardrobe and somehow stumble into your ancestral lineage, only to find yourself dressing, thinking, speaking, and moving differently because of what you discovered. You may begin exercising, meditating, or optimizing yourself in pursuit of some imagined version 2.0, only to tumble directly into a dark night of the soul and wake up inside an entirely different life.
That is creativity.
You enter thinking you are making the thing, and somewhere along the way you realize the thing has been making you, too.
You Are the Midwife, Not the Creation
This principle applies to every invention, idea, book, business, painting, story, movement, and collaborative creation, and the more people involved in the process, the more freedom from control is required. Every collaborator brings elements of themselves, and every creation brings its own requirements for becoming what it is here to become.
Make no mistake: you are not the thing you create, nor is the thing you create you.
You are the birther, the midwife, the nurturer, the steward, the person guiding it into form, but eventually your role ends and the creation must become its own thing. If you find control beginning to close around the process, there are a few useful questions worth sitting with: What do I believe creating this will give me, and how can I give that to myself today? What do I want people to see about me through this creation, and how can I share the part of myself that already possesses that quality? How do I believe this creation will make me more whole or more complete, and can I accept that I am already whole and complete now?
For highly creative people, the trap is an indefinite invitation to keep trying to create ourselves into godliness, becoming bigger, stronger, more powerful, more loved, more seen, more beautiful, more real. But this is not the purpose of creation.
Creation purifies us because it teaches surrender. It teaches us when to stop, where to loosen our hands, how to let accidents and random developments leave their own fingerprints, and finally, how to detach.
The divine force separated our knowing of ourselves as divine so that we could experience the same exquisite release we encounter when we set something we love free and allow it to become what it wanted to be rather than what we wanted it to be. In that moment of release, we remember something about our own divine identity.
If you can let go, if you can stop overpowering creation with control, you may remember the whole story in a moment.
Noticing Your Control Patterns
Control patterns are not evidence that something has gone wrong. They are part of being human, and to some extent they are built directly into our uniqueness. Biologically, we have control patterns in the form of genes and genetic coding, patterns that govern replication and expression, genotype and phenotype. Spiritually and nonphysically, our control patterns carry personality, tendencies, behaviors, assumptions, and automatic responses.
Most of us do not currently have the nervous system bandwidth to remain one hundred percent present, which is one reason I often say that we do not have free will. It is not because free will does not exist; it is because we usually do not have the bandwidth to access it.
Free will requires being able to see your patterns in a given moment while remaining outside of them, rather than unconsciously participating in them and behaving through them. I do not expect anyone at this juncture in human consciousness to become a master of that overnight, but noticing our control patterns is a tremendous beginning, and this is one of the many reasons a daily meditation practice is so valuable.
Meditation creates enough space for you to begin catching yourself in the act.
Where Control Becomes Resistance: A Chakra Map
I like using the seven main chakras as a map because they cover an enormous spectrum of human existence. If you are of a more scientific bent, you do not need to become attached to the word chakra at all; simply think of these as regions of the body associated with particular functions, behaviors, experiences, and energies, and use the framework wherever it helps you notice where control has hardened into resistance.
Root Chakra
Control here tends to gather around safety, home, food, family, partnership, community, resources, and movement through the physical world. You may feel compelled to control your living space, your partner or family members, what you eat, how you occupy your community, or when and how you leave home.
In meditation, ask:
How could I feel safer in my life? When was the last time I felt supported by nature? What am I afraid could be taken away from me?
Sacral Chakra
Control here gathers around creativity, pleasure, movement, sexuality, social energy, and the ability to let something take shape without micromanaging it. You may have endless ideas that never reach completion because you cannot control them into something you believe is worthy of your pride; you may try to manufacture a particular vibe through parties or gatherings, seek regular sexual encounters even when they are not heart-centered, or keep yourself perpetually moving because stillness feels intolerable.
In meditation, ask:
Do I feel like I am running out of time? Is there something I need to express that I cannot say directly? Do my friends and family align with my truest values? How might I weave surrender and detachment into my greatest creative acts?
Solar Plexus Chakra
Control here often manifests through routine, proficiency, resources, status, competence, and the avoidance of situations in which you cannot predict how you will be received. You may gatekeep resources, avoid environments where you will not be the favorite or the expert, or refuse activities in which you have not already built significant skill.
In meditation, ask:
Do I believe people who have fun without needing to be excellent are somehow less powerful? When did I stop giving myself permission to take a chance? Can I trust that moving beyond my comfort zone could give me exactly the inspiration I have been yearning for? Is it possible that the truest friends and best people in my life will support me even if I make a mistake?
Heart Chakra
Control here appears through emotional restraint, masking, guardedness, and resistance to vulnerability. You may pride yourself on never displaying emotion, suppress enthusiasm and anger equally, perform a version of yourself around other people, neglect hobbies or passion projects that require emotional exchange, or avoid situations where another person could truly affect you.
In meditation, ask:
What is the worst thing that could happen if I let my emotions show, and how do I feel about that possibility? Where have I judged emotional people in my life? Can I create boundaries that prevent me from receiving or causing emotional harm without shutting my heart? Am I living in my fullest expression if I continue withholding my deepest truths and feelings?
Throat Chakra
Control here manifests through censorship, compulsive or habitual lying, altering stories, withholding events, verbal arguments, policing other people’s expression, or convincing yourself that silence is always safer even when you genuinely have something to say.
In meditation, ask:
Is my truth the only truth that matters? Can I remember a time when I wished someone had spoken up for me? Can I remember a time when I wished someone had spoken more kindly to me? Can I think of my words as sweet music and learn to play that music when it is appropriate?
Third Eye Chakra
Control here often looks like overconsumption of information, whether through social media, books, spiritual texts, research, theories, or endless searching; it can also appear as extreme skepticism, disbelief, obsession with hidden systems, and an inability to let what is directly in front of you be enough.
In meditation, ask:
Am I capable of building a life that does not require everything to possess a hidden meaning, but instead finds meaning within simplicity? Would the universe purposefully hide everything I need to know, or would it magnetize the necessary information toward me when I need it? Can I trust that even in deeper realms and other dimensions, truth echoes exactly as it does here, and that the truth available to me now is enough to build with?
Crown Chakra
Control here can disguise itself as apathy or dread, often wearing a spiritual persona. It may manifest through obsession with esoteric tools and techniques, ignoring the voice or nudges of the divine, surrendering agency entirely to circumstance, remaining passive inside toxic situations, or confusing anxiety with spiritual guidance.
In meditation, ask:
If God created me as an ambulatory and/or conscious being with inspiration, desire, and life force, whose responsibility is it to advocate for this vessel? What fear is humming underneath my anxiety, and can I trust that the fear can be healed, shared, uplifted, and eventually transmuted? Can I accept that there will come a time when all answers are given, but until then, the only answers I need are the ones I currently have?
You do not need to address every chakra at one time. Take the questions associated with the area where you recognize yourself most strongly and bring them into your daily meditation practice for a week, not as another project to conquer, but as an invitation to notice.
Masculine and Feminine Movement Through the Chakras
In my experience, those who are born biologically male and identify as such tend to begin the spiritual journey from the root chakra and move upward, while those born biologically female and identify as such tend to begin from the crown chakra and move downward. By this, I mean that males generally begin with a greater aptitude for the material domains represented through the lower chakras, while females generally begin with a greater aptitude for the mental, intuitive, and nonphysical domains represented through the upper chakras.
This is one reason I find collaboration between masculine and feminine energies so beautiful, even when the relationship is entirely platonic. Two people can bring different aptitudes into partnership and support one another in moving through the parts of consciousness that do not come as naturally.
If you are rolling solo at this time, however, nothing is missing. Notice which domains feel natural to you and which feel challenging, then use the strengths of your comfortable chakras to support the areas where control patterns remain stronger.
People craving partnership can sometimes become fascinated with the energetic domains they perceive in the other. Women craving masculine partnership may become preoccupied with root, sacral, and solar plexus concerns such as security, sexuality, status, material achievement, and physicality; men craving feminine partnership may become preoccupied with throat, third eye, and crown concerns such as communication, intuition, spiritual knowledge, and the invisible world.
If you notice yourself becoming fixated on the energy of another, bring your attention back to the centers where your own power already lives. Hone what comes naturally, build relationship with what does not, and let yourself become increasingly whole rather than trying to acquire your missing half through somebody else.
That is what magnetizes the right partnerships: not frantic imitation of the other, but deeper embodiment of yourself.
Let Control Become the Container, Not the Creator
There is nothing wrong with control. Without structure, we cannot reliably show up; without discipline, ideas cannot become practices; without a container, creative energy spills everywhere and becomes difficult to hold.
The invitation is simply to keep control in its proper role.
Control builds the container; creativity fills it. Control creates the structure; spirit decides what moves through it.
The trouble begins when the container decides it is the artist.
So notice where you grip, notice where you perform, notice where you censor, hoard, rehearse, overthink, overresearch, overwork, spiritualize, or refuse to move unless you already know exactly where you will land. Let those places show you where your control patterns are asking for tenderness and attention, and bring them into meditation without trying to immediately fix them.
The very act of witnessing the pattern creates a little space between you and the program, and inside of that space lives free will.
Creativity does not require you to become less powerful; it asks you to stop confusing power with control. Your role is to prepare the canvas, gather the materials, discipline the instrument, listen closely, and then let something happen that you could not have planned.
THAT is the miracle. THAT is the surrender.
And, perhaps, that is what you were trying to create all along.
Until we meet again, dear heart, I am sending you all of my love. It is always more and never less, because you are so very worthy of it.
♡ Mandy